just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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