I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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