OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
