Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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