good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
