i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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