she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
