Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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