i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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