ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
