can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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