Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
