He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
