I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize