people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
