yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize