hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize