Can i not drive my cunt home
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
