So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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