We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
