I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
