wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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