his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
