escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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