I want to walk on stilts...naked
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize