So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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