I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Be still, my beating vagina.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
