I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Drake has all the answers
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
