Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
