Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drake has all the answers
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
