I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
