There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
