Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize