Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
