How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
