ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
