What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were trust falling into bushes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
