remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
