She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
