I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize