Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
