it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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