Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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