wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are two peas in an std pod
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
