Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My penis needs a shock collar
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
