im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
