I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
