If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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