yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
