My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
