Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
