I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
