Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
