I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
