I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
