i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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