Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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